dinner time
by BlackNeko20
Summary: fern has secretly suffered from an eating disorder for a while. her mother notices how small her daughter is and makes her seek help. will fern survive her struggle with anorexia? does anyone else in elwood city have a similar disorder? rated t for adult situations.
1. Chapter 1

**Dinner Time**

theme-dinner time

theme from darkangelsnapelover's one-shot challenge. this will be a longer piece.

Chapter 1-Hungry

Fern was hungry. She was always hungry, but today the feeling felt different somehow. Her stomach gurgled a prodded. She tried to ignore it. She'd ignored it for so long now, using sips of water to keep her filled. She tried that now. She soothed herself.

Fern had been anorexic for about three months now. It started in freshman gym class. She thought she looked bigger than the other kids, and because the class focused on weight loss, she had to find a way to lose pounds. Dieting wasn't working. Working out wasn't working. So Fern skipped a meal, breakfast, at first. Then she'd try to skip lunch, deciding she just didn't feel hungry. Once she discovered the water trick, she started going all day without food.

She did give in sometimes. She'd tell herself, "well, yesterday I had an apple," or "this morning I had a grape," and she'd convince herself that was plenty of food.

But Fern wasn't fond of the hungry feeling anymore. She felt empty in so many ways. She hid at lunch and dinner. She kept herself distant from people like Buster. She was losing friends slowly the longer she stayed hungry.

Fern went for a walk, another way to fight off the hunger. She needed new shoes. Her feet were too small for these and they slipped as she walked. She walked past a restaurant and gagged at the smell. She wondered if she really was hungry since food disgusted her so much. She kept walking.

A block up, she saw her friends at the Sugar Bowl. Arthur was laughing as he launched ice cream covered fries into Buster's mouth. Francine laughed and snorted milkshake out her nose. Muffy was there too nibbling on a plate of ketchup-covered fries.

Fern wanted to join them but the smells coming from the building made her nauseous. She wasn't hungry anymore. She'd never be hungry again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-Noticed

Fern's mom had been out of the home pretty frequently over the last few months. Her mother was sick, as was an old college friend. She was busy showing houses too. She didn't notice her daughter getting smaller and smaller.

Today she was in the kitchen flipping through a magazine. It was morning, breakfast time, and she remembered her daughter liked banana nut muffins. She made a fresh batch. They were cooling by the stove. The smell filled the house.

Upstairs, Fern grimaced as she woke up. She thought the muffins smelled like the most horrible things in the world. She resisted the urge to throw up as she moved to the bathroom to dress. Her clothes were baggy. Her pants almost fell down before she put on her belt. There weren't enough notches. She wanted a new one but didn't have the money.

Downstairs, Fern's mother looked up when her daughter stepped down the stairs. Her footsteps were quieter than a mouse's, but her mother heard them. She called for her daughter. She sipped her coffee as Fern walked into the room. Her mug fell from her hand as Fern stepped into the kitchen.

"Fern! Why are you so small?!" she cried. Fern shrugged. She grabbed an apple to keep up appearances. She tried to walk away, "Fern, honey, we need to talk about this. I'm having dinner with Morgana's family tonight. Here's the address," she said, writing it on a slip of paper. Fern took it. Her mother grimaced; she could see every bone in Fern's fingers. "You'll eat while you're there, understand? Have a muffin."

Fern took a muffin. She took a nibble off the top. It made her feel sick. Her mother didn't notice and smiled. She thought her daughter would eat it. She didn't notice it in the neighbor's flower bed as she drove to work.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-Dinner

Fern got to Morgana's house thirty minutes after her mom told her to be there. Everyone was done with the main course. People were eating slices of cake. Fern grabbed a tiny plate of the main course and sat in the corner. She pushed the food around but couldn't eat a bite. Her mother saw and smiled; she never noticed.

When it was time to leave, Fern's mother took the leftovers. The smell took over the car. Fern wanted to gag but kept herself under control. She looked out the window, hoping her mother wouldn't talk about her weight again. She felt fat no matter what her mom said. She thought her legs were too big, especially. She pinched her right leg out of view. She felt nauseous again.

Once home, her mother tried to talk to her again. Fern ignored her, dodging her as she claimed to do homework. She re-did her algebra work. Her mother sighed but didn't notice. She was worried though. She called her friend Morgana. Everyone was talking about how skinny Fern was. They mentioned an eating disorder. Fern's mother didn't know if her daughter had one or not.

"Maybe you should let things be for a while. Focus on your family so they don't get sick too," Morgana offered. "But you have cancer, Morgana," Fern's mother cried. "But I can live from that, and I can take care of myself when I can. Focus on your baby and your family," Morgana begged her.

Fern's mother agreed. She checked in on Fern before she went to bed. Fern pretended to be asleep. She felt hungry again but ignored the gurgling. It was almost comforting as she went to sleep.

In her mother's room, her mom called her own mother. Her night nurse answered. Fern's mother told her about her daughter. The nurse understood; her own daughter had bulimia. The nurse told her to follow her friend's advice. Fern's mother agreed.

"Also, you might need to get her treatment. Go to her school's counselors to see what they can offer. My daughter needed more. She went to Meadow Grove Treatment Facility in Metropolis. It's expensive but necessary."

Fern's mother had insurance, she told her, and they knew insurance might cover it, if Fern was in bad enough shape. When the call was over, Fern's mom called her pediatrician. She hadn't been there since she was 13 to get her shots for high school. She was 16 now and the doctor wouldn't see her, the machine's automated message said. She called her own doctor instead and made an appointment using a computer system.

Fern's mother knew her daughter had a problem and it was her job to fix it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4-Doctor's Appointment

Fern was upset. Her mother made her eat breakfast. She made cheesy eggs, once another of Fern's favorite. Fern hated them now. She got sick before they left home. Fern's mother offered to drive her to school, Elwood City High, but Fern quickly noticed they weren't going the right way.

"Where are we going?" she asked. Her mother sighed, "I'm taking you to the doctor. You're too small. I know you're not eating. I called Mother and Morgana and they understand. I need to focus on you now." "I'm fine," Fern pleaded. "No, you're not," her mother said sternly, pulling into the doctor's office parking lot.

Inside, she had to fill out paperwork. Fern stared at the floor. Her stomach gurgled. She ignored it. She also ignored the screaming baby next to her and the coughing old woman in the corner. She wasn't fond of school but she'd rather be there now than in the office.

"Walters," the nurse called. Fern and her mother stepped into a back hallway. It ended in a small open area. Fern had to take off her shoes and get weighed. She was 97 pounds. Her mother gasped. The nurse was strangely quiet.

In the exam room, the doctor made Fern take off her clothes. Fern wanted her mother to leave the room. Her mother refused. "Mom, go!" Fern cried. "I'm your mother and I think you're trying to hide something. You can put on the paper gown when you're done," her mother said.

Fern protested but the nurse stopped them. The doctor was busy and couldn't wait on them to decide. Fern almost cried as the door closed and she started to undress. She was skin and bones. You could see her ribs and her hips. Her mother cried; she couldn't help it.

The doctor came in a few minutes later and took measurements of Fern's limbs and waist. He was quiet. He took her blood pressure and asked her to go to the lab to get her blood. Fern didn't care what she had to do as long as she could get dressed. The doctor and her mother left the room so she could.

"Your daughter is very, very sick, Miss Walters. She needs treatment for her disorder. Here's a psychiatrist I work with for my teenaged patients. This is a treatment center nearby. I'll make sure your insurance covers it," the doctor explained. "Will she be okay?" Fern's mom asked. "Only time will tell."

A few days later, Fern found herself in her mom's car again. She noticed they weren't going to school. They got on the highway instead. Fern didn't ask questions; she felt too hurt. She cried as they entered Metropolis and parked in a parking lot downtown. She followed like a lost puppy. She felt defeated.

Fern's mother left her daughter at the facility. She was now 93 pounds. She was very sick and the center couldn't guarantee her survival. Fern's mom felt more defeated than her daughter. Her friend, her mom, and now her daughter were dying. She cried all the way home. Then she went to see Morgana to help her at home.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-Treatment

Fern hated the program. She had to eat at least one meal a day. If she didn't, they would force her to eat using a feeding tube. She had to wear smaller clothes that fit better, but she thought she was fat still because her bones stuck out. She was unhappy. She felt alone.

Other people in the program were smaller than Fern. She learned one girl died from being too small. She was 80 pounds, they said, but some people said as low as 50 pounds. Fern didn't know you could die from being so small.

Fern thought about Morgana and her grandmother. Morgana looked good even though her wig was crooked. Her grandmother wasn't as lucky, Fern thought. She looked smaller and smaller. Fern wondered if her grandmother would die from being too small.

Fern thought about death frequently. She didn't want to die. She forced herself to eat. She gained weight slowly. She still felt like she was too big though. She told her group therapy members she still felt large. The group's leader, a therapist, told another person at the facility. She was given private sessions. They gave her medication to help her brain be more even.

"You have to take the pills with food. Otherwise they'll make you sick," the doctor warned her. Fern obeyed. She started eating two small meals a day. She gained more weight, but the pills kept her from thinking she was fat.

When her mom visited a month later, she was happy her daughter looked better. She was less stressed now that she knew her daughter was getting better. She devoted herself to her work and her caring duties, just as Fern dedicated herself to getting better.

The therapists helped Fern see her body images started earlier, when her father left her mother for a younger, skinnier woman. Fern had to deal with her feelings about her father, so she wrote him an angry letter. He responded with apologies. Fern felt better about that too.

Two months later, Fern was well enough for the outpatient program. She was 110 pounds. They wanted her to gain 20 more to be a healthy enough weight for her age and height. Fern agreed. She wanted to live. She didn't want to die like some of the others in the program, the ones who got too small. She wanted to live.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6-Setbacks and Successes

Fern's grandmother passed away a few weeks after Fern got home. Her and her mother grieved heavily. They didn't want to eat. Casseroles and cakes filled the house, but they had to throw out all of them. Fern's medication made her sick. Her therapist was upset and recommended she go back to the facility in Metropolis. Fern agreed.

Her mother went to counselling too. Both mother and daughter needed medication to help them get better. It would be a long road, a process that would effect Fern for the rest of her life. She had to make an eating schedule and maintain it on her own when she went home. She had to count calories to make sure she had enough. She got better slowly. She started making friends again.

Six months later, she walked past the Sugar Bowl and saw the same scene from before. Buster had an ice cream covered fry stuck on one of his ears. Muffy looked disgusted as she picked at a plate of fries. Fern thought she looked small. She decided to go inside, even though the sweet smells made her sick.

Fern and Muffy talked after the outing. Muffy had problems with anorexia too. Her family had money though, so she had a top therapist from out of the country. Muffy and Fern exchanged methods for dealing with their problem. They both made progress. They grew closer in time.

No one else in Elwood City knew about Fern and Muffy's problem. That made them even closer. The girls kept an eye out for others like them, to help them. When they were older in college, they started a program called Time For Dinner. It was a support group for people like them. It was successful. They helped a lot of people just like them. They helped themselves too. Fern was finally happy, and Muffy was too.

-end-


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